https://www.patreon.com/posts/vulnarcs-and-for-96317452
One of the ideas that has stuck with a lot of Fuckers, it seems, is the concept of the resources we need to rectify our brains. Episodes put out at the middle-end of 2022. The necessity of time, space, and energy to recover from trauma or engage in self-growth.
Well, after my year of tripping through PTSD and studying myself like a lab rat, it turns out, none of these three factors is quite as straight forward as they seem.
You can have alllll the time in the world. But that time means nothing if you’re stuck in a DIFFERENT time period, unable to bring yourself to the current moment because your shitty memories have you trapped.
Similarly, time isn’t impactful if you have no energy with which to work on your problems. 24 hours in a day, but you can only function for 4 of them? Uhhh… that might move your brain backwards, as it smashes you over the head with perceived failure.
And, talking about complicating factors, energy isn’t as simple as “rest up, eat a snack, and you’ll be fine.” There are depths of exhaustion that aren’t touched by biological energy. The soul-machine runs out of steam, too.
AND even our biological energy is so often lost in ways we can’t control, such as background rumination and subconscious processing. If those are dominating your mental landscape, it feels like you have nothing to work with up top… when, in fact, your skull penthouse is buzzing with untamable intruders.
I also wanted to clarify that “space” doesn’t just mean “space.”
It means “space in which you can access your self and your Self.” Or, “your healthy ego and your spirit, thing.”
Healthy boundaries (externally and internally) give us the space to access both of these things.
Without self-Self access via having enough self-controllable, self-nurturing space, again, the whole time-space-energy equation falls apart. We can have time and energy, but if we’re off-kilter in the personality, emotion, skillset, and sense of self departments… eh… we’re going to be acting afool with all that freedom and pizzazz.
Time is meaningless. Energy will only be misdirected towards maladaptive means. Recovery won’t be happening.
In fact, there’s some likelihood that we only solidify our traumatized pasts into pieces of us.
And all of that considered…
Wouldn’t it be neat if there was a research article that sortof tangentially discussed what happens when we’re trapped in a fucked up time orientation, with limited access to healthy self-Self interactions, misapplying our energy towards living in our pains and protecting ourselves from the danger of “the human race”?
I hope so.
Because, I have that article for you.
And within that article, we’ll be revisiting ANOTHER topic that needs much greater discussion, as something the majority of us deal with on some level or another.
SO.
Today, as the kickoff to “either I’m done with this or I’m realizing how to do it without killing myself, season 12,” here’s a research article from The Journal of Research in Personality, 2021.
It’s called Narcissus locked in the past: Vulnerable narcissism and the negative views of the past.
Ahhhh yeah, Fuckers. We’re talking VulNarcs. Oh, how none of us have missed them.
And with just one warning about how this article is possibly going to initially elicit a response in you to spin out about whether or not YOU are a covert narcissist…Well, it might.
That said, I understand narcs well because I have parts that mirror them. Been saying it for years; I turned out a lot like my mother until I started going the complete opposite direction a while ago.
Having those copy-pasted parts of hers? Doesn’t make me a narcissist unless I let them takeover. And it doesn’t make you one, either, if you fall into that same camp.
PS – the good news is, we’ll all get a brain-saving detail at the end that might relieve you of your VulNarc fears.
Now. Let’s dive in.
INTRO
Again, this article is called Narcissus locked in the past: Vulnerable narcissism and the negative views of the past. It comes out of Poland and Italy. And I don’t think I can say the names of the authors, but I’ll try.
Zajenkowski, Rogoza, Maciantowicz, Witowska, and Jonason. We’ll mostly be hearing from them today, as I shut my fucking mouth and stop trying so hard.
They say:
Narcissism may come in two major forms – grandiose and vulnerable – which are weakly positively correlated (e.g., Miller et al., 2017; Wink, 1991). They share some features such as a sense of entitlement (Miller & Campbell, 2008), self-importance (Krizan & Herlache, 2018), and antagonism (Back, 2018; Lynam & Miller, 2019) but differ in several important ways.
For example, while the basic goal of a narcissist is to maintain their self-esteem (Morf & Rhodewalt, 2001), grandiose narcissists achieve this through self-promotion and praise-seeking… and when they fail to get it, they derogate others to protect their ego (Back et al., 2013; Back, 2018; Grapsas, Brummelman, Back, & Denissen, 2020; Wetzel, Leckelt, Gerlach, & Back, 2016)
(So, GranNarcs strive for impressing people at all costs, and if those people cannot be impressed it’s because there’s something wrong with them, not the narcissist) They continue:
… whereas vulnerable narcissists do so (that’s self-protect) by withdrawing to avoid feelings of shame, pain, or envy (Caligor, Levy, & Yeomans, 2015) and being discovered by others as “fragile” (Kealy & Rasmussen, 2011)
… which opens them up to suffer from depression and anxiety, and may increase the number of attempted suicides (Dawood, Schroder, Donnellan, & Pincus, 2018; Ronningstam & Maltsbreger, 2010).
(Alright, VulNarcs remove themselves from social situations to avoid judgments from others that they can’t handle… and feelings about those judgments. Notice, they used the word “shame,” because shame is a socially oriented emotional mechanism. Just saying.
All of this self-protective insulation causes isolation and hypervigilance, and pretty soon they don’t see a reason to live anymore.
Except… They say:)
In their withdrawn state, vulnerable narcissists engage in grandiose fantasies of prevailing over others and winning the admiration of others (Kealy & Rasmussen, 2011; Pincus & Lukowitsky, 2010; Ronningstam, 2005), often externalizing blame onto others for their sense of inadequacy.
(Ahhh, so the reason to be alive is to seek vengeance. Yeah, that tracks from the people I know who fit the bill… and at least one part of my brain under the wrong circumstances.)
The strategy of avoiding other people observed in vulnerable narcissism has been widely studied. However, less is known about how vulnerable narcissists perceive their personal experiences. For instance, frequent feelings of shame and anger are often associated with intrusive thoughts (Ghim, Choi, Lim, & Lim, 2015).
(And here’s where we get to the meat of it.)
Although the ruminative thinking may be an important characteristic leading to increased aggression in vulnerable narcissists (Krizan & Johar, 2015), surprisingly little attention has been paid to narcissists’ tendency to concentrate on the past.
(Ahhh, our time orientation discussion finally shows up. They continue:)
Thus, within the current research we ask how vulnerable narcissists view the past. Are they excessively concentrated on the negative side of their past? What are the foundations and processes underlying the aversive thinking about the past among vulnerable narcissists?
We aim to answer these questions in a series of studies examining the association between vulnerable narcissism and the negative view of the past.
(AKA how does a past time orientation with a negativity bias contribute to the creation and/or maintenance of narcissistic tendencies? Let’s find out.)
They continue:
The most prototypical broadband personality trait associated with vulnerable narcissism is neuroticism, followed by low agreeableness and low extraversion (Maciantowicz & Zajenkowski, 2020a; Miller et al., 2018).
(neuroticism being a tendency toward anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and other negative feelings)
The heightened levels of neuroticism could be expressed either through highly negative affect and social withdrawal (i.e., neuroticism underpinned by low extraversion) or through emotional lability, irritability, and anger (i.e., neuroticism underpinned by low agreeableness) (DeYoung, Quilty, & Peterson, 2007; Miller et al., 2010; Miller et al., 2011; Rogoza, Cieciuch, Strus, & Baran, 2019).
These prototypical personality features are also congruent with temperamental traits, in as much as vulnerable narcissism is primarily associated with high avoidance motivation (i.e., fear of punishment; Krizan & Herlache, 2018).
Furthermore, vulnerable narcissists manifest low, fragile, and highly dependent self-esteem (Miller et al., 2010; Rogoza, Zemojtel-Pio ˙ trowska, Kwiatkowska, & Kwiatkowska, 2018; Zeigler-Hill, Clark, & Pickard, 2008).
They also display an array of hostile attitudes, often accompanied by the rumination of anger (Czarna, Zajenkowski, Maciantowicz, & Szymaniak, 2019; Miller & Campbell, 2008; Miller et al., 2010) (Krizan & Johar, 2015).
Taken together, such a set of undesired psychological underpinnings makes vulnerable narcissists fragile by their nature. Thus, as every negative or negatively perceived situation evokes intense feelings of shame and inferiority (Di Sarno, Zimmerman, Madeddu, Casini, & Di Pierro, 2020; Pincus et al., 2009), vulnerable narcissists are likely to constantly experience such intrusive thoughts over excessively longer periods of time.
(Ugh. Is anyone else too self-identifying for comfort right now?
Maybe not ALWAYS, but in some periods of your life… have you also been self-protectively withdrawn, defensive, and too sensitive for people’s continual triggerings because you were packed with intrusive thoughts of shame, self-doubt, and inferiority? Have you ever feared that you, too, were too fragile for existence?
Or, again, just me in 2023? Huh.
Anyways, they continue:)
1.2. How vulnerable narcissists view their past?
The crucial role of the past is a part of many theories of narcissism. The psychoanalytic concepts emphasized the importance of early experiences in childhood as the etiology of narcissistic personality (Freud, 1932; Kernberg, 1975; Kohut, 1971).
For instance, Kohut (1971) suggested that inappropriate feedback from parents (both lack of approval or excessive attention) may lead to narcissistic injury and, in turn, to the creation of an unrealistic sense of self. Other psychoanalysts indicated that narcissists experience anger in response to rejection because it opens childhood wounds (Kernberg, 1975).
(I agree with all of these suggestions and I don’t see them as being mutually exclusive. You can have too much AND too little attention from your parents. And either condition could increase the perception of core-wounded rejection down the road. They continue:)
Depending on how strong the sense of self is, it could either express itself in grandiose (i.e., approaching) or vulnerable (i.e., avoiding) ways.
(And they don’t spell this out, but I’m assuming they’re suggesting that a grand sense of self leads to grandiosity and vice versa. Now back to our time orientation mystery.)
Evidence from social-personality psychology is generally in line with the psychoanalytic concepts emphasizing the role of the negative past in the development of narcissism.
Vulnerable narcissists report more adverse childhood experiences (Crawford & Wright, 2007; Kim & Cicchetti, 2010; Rogosch & Cicchetti, 2004), especially emotional abuse and emotional neglect (Nguyen & Shaw, 2020), which may lead to mistrust and increased antagonism in adulthood (Miller et al., 2011).
In addition, they present anxious and avoidant attachment styles (Miller et al., 2011; Pistol, 1995), which are often linked to childhood maltreatment (Baer & Martinez, 2006).
(So, again, from all of this, it seems like VulNarcs suffer from a shakey or shameful self-concept, created by emotional issues in the childhood home. This goes on to create unstable attachment styles and violent relationships due to the sense of self-inferiority and unsafety.
And I still am relating harder than I would like to. They continue:)
The focus on the negative past manifests in vulnerable narcissism also by the tendency toward the rumination on anger, that is, recalling past events evoking anger and thinking over the causes and consequences of anger episodes (Sukhodolsky, Golub, & Cromwell, 2001).
(Here comes a big sentence:)
Such rumination of anger could be viewed as a form of compensation and restitution for early deprivation and humiliation (Bishop & Lane, 2002).
It has been suggested that the rumination of anger fueled by shame might be a potential driver of the increased levels of aggressiveness in vulnerable narcissism (Ghim et al., 2015; Krizan & Johar, 2015).
(So, reacting to the past and pretending the present will right some wrongs may be a driver of VulNarc violence.)
Consistent with the above, those with more vulnerable narcissism tend to have a more negative perspective on their past (i.e. the negative view of the past; Zajenkowski, Witowska, Maciantowicz, & Malesza, 2016).
(So enters our second big focus of the paper. “The negative view of the past.” This is what we’ll be comparing to Vulnerable Narcissism for the rest of the research. They say:)
This negative view of the past is often accompanied by a concentration on unpleasant events from the past and a negative interpretation of past events (Zimbardo & Boyd, 1999).
(AKA – events that sucked are at the forefront of the mind. AND events that didn’t necessarily suck get pulled into the shitparty, necessarily being framed by the same unpleasant emotions and interpretations.)
Interestingly, the nomological network of “the negative view of the past” resembles that of vulnerable narcissism, for example, in associations with high neuroticism and low extraversion (Kairys & Liniauskaite, 2015).
(In other words. If you’re stuck thinking about a terrible past, you expect terrible things in the future and therefore don’t seek positive reward from external factors. Again, 2023 Jess is nodding her head like a dashboard ornament.)
The negative view of the past correlates also with a wide spectrum of negative emotionality, including anxiety and depression, anger and hostility, low levels of self-esteem and life satisfaction, more severe symptoms (e.g., intrusive memories) of post-traumatic stress disorder after experiencing trauma (i.e., motor vehicle accident) and frame their time as a child by emphasizing parental alienation, lack of closeness, emotional remoteness, and inadequacy (Stolarski, Matthews, Postek, Zimbardo, & Bitner, 2014; Zimbardo & Boyd, 1999) (Stolarski, Zajenkowski, & Zajenkowska, 2016) (Zimbardo & Boyd, 1999) (Zhang & Howell, 2011)(Kosti´c, Pejiˇci´c, & Chadee, 2017) (Stolarski & Cyniak-Cieciura, 2016)).
(Sigh. Well, shit. That probably makes a few of us around here. But they say:)
Considering the above, vulnerable narcissism and the negative view of the past may have a similar psychological profile. However, both constructs might slightly differ at the conceptual level as well as the magnitude of associations with specific intra- and interpersonal outcomes.
So let’s examine those possible differential outcomes.
HERE 1/4/24
Aims and hypotheses:
First, we examine how individual differences in vulnerable narcissism and negative view of the past are related to basic personality characteristics.
Generally, we expect that vulnerable narcissism and negative view of the past will be positively correlated with one another (H1a) and that both will be associated positively with neuroticism (H1b) — and negatively with extraversion (H1c), agreeableness (H1d), and conscientiousness (H1e; Kairys & Liniauskaite, 2015; Miller et al., 2011, 2018; Rogoza et al., 2018).
Furthermore, both vulnerable narcissism and past negative perceptions are characterized by high anxiety and social withdrawal (Krizan & Herlache, 2018; Zimbardo & Boyd, 1999). Therefore, we expect they will be positively linked to behavioral inhibition system (H1f).
(The behavioral inhibition system (BIS) reacts to punishment, non-reward, and novelty stimuli. The BIS decreases behavioral responses to avoid negative consequences. Activation of the BIS is associated with negative subjective emotions, such as anxiety, fear, sadness, and frustration.
So, it’s “learned repression,” in other words. Those of us who only need to touch the figurative stove once to never do it again? We have strong behavioral inhibition systems. Which often leave us full of negative emotions, because the “burning hot stove tops” we’re avoiding are tje threat of us, being ourselves, in various unallowed ways.
Moving on.)
Additionally, negative view of the past was unrelated to reward dependence (Zimbardo & Boyd, 1999), while in case of vulnerable narcissism there is no clear evidence; however, some studies show its positive association with approach motivation (H1g; e.g., Miles et al., 2019).
(Reward dependence (RD) is characterised by a tendency toward dependence on signals of reward, especially verbal signals of social approval, social support and present mood state. So negative view of the past’ers don’t need reward for their shitty memories. The same isn’t clear in VulNarcs.
Approach motivation is the energization of behavior by, or the direction of behavior toward, positive stimuli (objects, events, possibilities) In other words, VulNarcs MIGHT be motivated to be “….who they are” because it helps them feel more positive.)
Lastly, we expected to find weak or no relationship with grandiose narcissism of both vulnerable narcissism and negative view of the past (H1h; Miller et al., 2011; Rogoza et al., 2018; Zajenkowski, Stolarski, Witowska, Maciantowicz, & Łowicki, 2016).
(So they don’t think that grandnarc qualities go hand in hand with vulnarc qualities OR negative view of the past.
Now let’s hear what personality characteristics and outcomes they anticipate from each:)
In lower-order personality facets, we expect a difference within neuroticism:
vulnerable narcissism will be more strongly associated with the aspect of volatility (H1i), while negative view of the past will correlate more strongly with the aspect of withdrawal (H1j).
(So VulNarcs are volatile, correlated with their negative expectations of the world.
Negative view of the past-ers withdraw, correlated with their negative expectations of the world.)
Second, we examine how individual differences in vulnerable narcissism and the negative view of the past are correlated to intrapersonal (i.e., affect, life satisfaction, and self-evaluation) and interpersonal (i.e., antagonism) outcomes.
In the three-dimensional model, negative mood is defined as high tense arousal, and low energetic arousal and low hedonic tone (Matthews, Jones, & Chamberlain, 1990). Similarly, we expect (H2b) a negative association with life satisfaction (Miller et al., 2011; Zhang & Howell, 2011).
Another important area in which the traits can manifest themselves is related to self-evaluation. Here, we expect (H2c) that people scoring high on vulnerable narcissism and negative view of the past will display a low level of self-esteem (Miller et al., 2011; Rogoza et al., 2018; Zhang, Howell, & Stolarski, 2013; Zimbardo & Boyd, 1999).
(So they expect that a negative view of the past, whether related to vulnerable narcissism or not, comes with low esteem, high tension, low arousal, and low pleasure capacity… and that, of course, comes with reduced life satisfaction and poor interpersonal outcomes.
Such as:.
The last area we consider is correlated with antagonism.
Vulnerable narcissism and a negative view of the past are associated with similar manifestations of antagonism, which mainly concentrate on internalizing aggression (Krizan & Johar, 2015; Maciantowicz & Zajenkowski, 2020b; Stolarski et al., 2016). Thus, we expect that both dimensions will be positively correlated with the frequent experience of anger and hostility (i.e., aggressive interpretation of other people’s intentions; H2e).
(Oh, how the VulNarcs love to aggressively interpret others’ intentions. Often, to a preposterous extent.)
Third, we explore two potential processes (i.e., memory bias and traumatic experiences) that might be responsible for the heightened tendency to think in an aversive way about the past.
For example, people’s negative views of the past might stem from the actual traumatic experiences of a person.
Thus, we examine the hypothesis that people with high levels of vulnerable narcissism and people with high levels of past negative views report more early traumatic experiences.
(Seems like a safe hypothesis. But wait:)
Alternatively, we investigate the possibility that the concentration on the past might be a function of memory bias.
We expect that people with highly vulnerable narcissism, as well as people with a tendency to view their past negatively, are more susceptible to recall negative, rather than positive, events (H3b).
(So maybe they’re traumatized. Maybe they’re just slanted towards negativity, and that acts as a filter on what they can remember happening.
One way to find out. These fuckers need to be studied.)
Method:
A set of questionnaires and cognitive tasks were completed by participants after providing informed consent.
Look, I can give you all the individual questionnaires. I have a feeling most of us won’t care – and those who DO will have the ability to access this article on their own for those details.
Okay, here’s a real quick rundown.
They used the:
Hypersensitive Narcissism Scale (Hendin & Cheek, 1997).
Past Negative scale (Kozak & Mazewski, ˙ 2007) of the Zimbardo Time Perspective Inventory (Zimbardo & Boyd, 1999).
Narcissistic Personality Inventory (Raskin & Hall, 1979).
International Personality Item Pool Big Five Factor Markers Questionnaire (Goldberg, 1992) and Ten Item Personality Inventory (Gosling, Rentfrow, & Swann, 2003).
BIS/BAS scale (Carver & White, 1994).
Satisfaction with Life Scale (Diener, Emmons, Larsen, & Griffin, 1985).
UWIST Mood Adjective Check List (Matthews et al., 1990)
Positive and Negative Affect Scale (Watson et al., 1988).
Rosenberg (1965) Self-Esteem Scale.
State-Trait Anger Expression Inventory (Spielberger, 1999).
Aggression Questionnaire (Buss & Perry, 1992).
Early Life Stress Questionnaire (Cohen et al., 2006).
And finally. To test Memory Bias. In Study 7, we assessed biases in memory with a memory recall task. Participants were asked to recall and vividly imagine any memory related to their recent trip or journey. Subsequently, they were instructed to “please write a short story about your recent trip/journey. It could be to anywhere, to a store, another city, or another country. Keep writing until the experimenter says stop.” Participants had five minutes to complete the task. The stories provided by the participants were then assessed for valence (1 = very negative; 7 = very positive) by three independent, blind raters (α = 0.96).
Now what did they find?
Results Discussion
In the current study, we comprehensively examined the relationship between vulnerable narcissism and the tendency to view the past in a negative way.
(A negative past time orientation! And, I would say, they examined a lot of other connections, too. So would they, as they state:)
Across seven studies, we found a relatively large association between vulnerable narcissism and negative view of the past. Additionally, these two variables share numerous psychological correlates in terms of personality traits, intra- and interpersonal outcomes, as well as specific memory processes.
We found that vulnerable narcissism and negative view of the past have similar personality profiles. Specifically, they were equally correlated with high levels of neuroticism and behavioral inhibition along with low levels of extraversion. They were also negatively associated with agreeableness and conscientiousness; however, they were slightly different in the magnitude of the correlations.
Vulnerable narcissism was more strongly associated with agreeableness, while negative view of the past was more correlated with conscientiousness. These results suggest that antagonism is more characteristic of vulnerable narcissists, especially low empathy and concern for others as indicated by their lower levels of the compassion facet (Zajenkowski & Szymaniak, 2019).
(I think, from that result, we can also say… with that higher score in conscientiousness, people with a negative view of the past may actually be more conscious and broadly aware of themselves and the world? Whereas VulNarcs and their relatively higher agreeableness… doesn’t reflect compassion! Hahhaha those fuckers, they just go with the flow to make their lives easier while having no real care for anyone.
You know, this is making me feel less VulNarcy. Bless you for that finding, researchers.
Next point:)
Additionally, in contrast to past negative time perspective, vulnerable narcissism was associated with more reward sensitivity as part of the behavioral activation system, which might underlie its positive link with grandiose narcissism.
(So VulNarcs are pretty extrinsically motivated. They chase what supports their egos, similar to GrandNarcs. Tracks.)
Although negative view of the past and vulnerable narcissism had similar personality profiles, they differed in intrapersonal and interpersonal outcomes.
In general, the past negative time perspective was more important for well-being than vulnerable narcissism. This is consistent with prior research showing that past negative perspective is a strong predictor of affective states, life satisfaction, and self-esteem even after controlling for other personality traits (Stolarski & Matthews, 2016; Zhang, Howell, 2011).
(I’m interpreting this to mean “past negative time perspective comes with more fittingly negative emotions. VulNarcs actually can feel like they’re doing fine in life, despite their continual negativity. Uh… again, sounds like someone I know, and it seems like one condition is perhaps a bit more “genuine” than the other.
Maybe one past negative time perspective is a little more “organically felt” than the other. But, regardless, they both orient this way.
The researchers continue:)
The possibility that there might be common processes underlying vulnerable narcissism and a negative view of the past was further explored in two studies.
We found that people with high levels of vulnerable narcissism and those with especially negative views of their past reported more traumas. The results are consistent with previous research showing that vulnerable narcissists recall more negative experiences from their childhood (Crawford & Wright, 2007).
Likewise, the negative view of the past has been linked to a more negative relationship with parents (Kosti´c at al., 2017) and more severe symptoms after a traumatic event (Stolarski & Cyniak-Cieciura, 2016).
However, no study has tested the direct association between negative view of the past and the recalled traumas until now.
Although the questionnaire we used to measure recalled traumas asked about relatively objective events from one’s childhood (e.g., parents’ divorce), it might have captured also, at least in some cases (e. g., negligence, emotional abuse), the subjective interpretation of the past. Indeed, the concept of past negative perspective implies that the source of an aversive attitude toward the past might be real traumatic experience, or it can be a consequence of negative reconstruction of the past events (Zimbardo & Boyd, 1999).
(So, they still aren’t sure if more traumatic events truly happened to people with a negative view of the past – VulNarc or otherwise – or if those groups simply REMEMBER more negatively perceived events, which may have been memories altered to fit into the negativity of their general beings.
And… don’t we all have those questions about ourselves and others?
The authors do. They continue:)
Thus, the question is to what extent vulnerable narcissism and past negative are associated with a memory bias of focusing on negative events.
In the last of our studies, we asked participants to recall an event (without indicating its emotional content) from their recent past. People scoring high on vulnerable narcissism and people with higher scores on negative view of the past spontaneously recalled more negative memories than people with low levels of these traits.
Our study was the first to directly examine people’s tendency to remember more negative events of one’s immediate life in relation to past negative time perspective as well as vulnerable narcissism.
This finding contributes to the literature in several ways. First, it supports the concept that people with a highly past negative perspective tend to retrieve from their memory events that are aversive and negative (Zimbardo & Boyd, 1999).
(And now it’s about to get real)
It has been suggested that there might be specific processes of autobiographical memory among people oriented on the negative past (Matthews & Stolarski, 2015). The theory of autobiographical memory suggests two functions in the forms of 1) adaptive correspondence (i.e., accurate records of experience) and 2) self coherence (i.e., the need to be consistent with self-concept; Conway, Singer, & Tagini, 2004).
These two functions are in tension, because self coherence distorts experiences and reconstructs them to fit the self schema.
(SO. there’s both the need to have an accurate view of the past… AND the need to have a view of the past that supports who the person believes themself to be.
These forces are often at odds, because memories are skewed to fit into a chosen narrative, which creates an existential crisis in the brain, as it realizes that it is, in fact, full of shit.
My words. Here are more of theirs:)
A negative view of the past might be associated with the availability or accessibility of memories consistent with the pessimistic self-concept (Matthews & Stolarski, 2015). Likewise, vulnerable narcissists might have easier access to negative memories.
An illustrative example might be one of the stories rated as highly negative, written by a participant with a relatively high level of vulnerable narcissism (i.e., the top quartile):
“Recently, I went to the city to earn some money. While going, I was thinking: what is for all this, nothing makes sense, the same thing over and over again, getting up early, slaving etc., no prospect for a better life, I feel like vomiting on all this; the others are resting, they lead a nice life, and here only gray, boring everyday life.”
(I mean, what a sisyphean view… except, then held up to a comparative lens that makes everything even MORE negative.)
On average, such negative stories were more available for vulnerable narcissists.
However, (ready for shit to get trippy?) the interaction between self-concept and memory might be dynamic and reciprocal, as the retrieval of negative events may influence the person’s sense of who they are currently (Conway & Pleydell-Price, 2000).
Thus, the vulnerable narcissists’ current self concept reconstructs past memories and the past reconstructs their self (Conway & Pleydell-Price, 2000).
(I’m going to say it again.)
Thus, the vulnerable narcissists’ current self concept reconstructs past memories and the past reconstructs their self (Conway & Pleydell-Price, 2000).
(AKA they fuck around with their narratives, their memories, and their self-esteem. Anyone who knows a VulNarc or who has traced some of the tendencies in their own brain probably has ten thousand examples of this.
History is always changing. Self-perception is always changing. The story is always changing. Just depends on what the VulNarc needs in that moment.
Hey, it’s not something you imagined. It’s been scientifically proven.
So is their interpersonal aggression, which they almost definitely deny. The authors say:)
Collectively, our findings revealed the importance of individual differences in the negative view of the past to understand individual differences in vulnerable narcissism. We found that the two constructs overlapped especially in the case of antagonism (i.e., hostility) and low self-esteem.
It is likely that the concentration on adverse experiences from one’s past drives malevolence and negative self-evaluation among vulnerable narcissists. Such a possibility has already been suggested for anger rumination which may lead to aggressiveness in vulnerable narcissists (Ghim et al., 2015; Krizan & Johar, 2015).
(SO. Remembering (or choosing to remember, or constructing) negative recollections is associated with current self-esteem and vice versa. This is also linked to angry rumination and the eventual outpouring of aggression towards others.)
In conclusion,
The current research revealed that the tendency to concentrate on negative events from the past is a crucial aspect of vulnerable narcissism. This tendency might stem from a bias in memory processes and may influence one’s perception of themselves and others.
Furthermore, a negative view of the past might explain various characteristics of vulnerable narcissists such as low self-esteem or increased levels of anger and hostility
(And that’s our study.
Now let’s do some commenting and sew this up into one story, huh?)
WRAP INTERESTING POINTS
So in this research study, they investigate the hypothesized interaction between negative memories, self-esteem, and aggression.
And, in my view, they left us with the big question: Do the negative memories and increased childhood trauma experiences drive low self-esteem, thus increasing the experiences of anger and interpersonal aggression?
Hm. Perhaps.
The thing tracks. We can’t say that it doesn’t make sense or align with real life experience.
But what I DIDN’T read from them was this semi-implied but never directly stated hypothesis:
What if vulnerable narcissists NEED a negative view of the past in order to justify their self-concepts and often low-esteem? Maybe it’s not an accident that they seem to always re-orient towards negative events that have befallen them – or “reconstructed” memories that they’re carrying. Maybe this negative bias of recollection and/or reconstruction is highly purposeful, as a measure to protect what little esteem (with what little stories) they have.
Then, from that perceived life of victimhood, with low self-esteem, they’re justified in lashing out at everyone aggressively.
So, I’m asking if the negative past memory orientation… may be a function of the aggression that they display towards others.
All of that sounds very damning, but it makes me think of a chihuahua who only remembers being kicked, now being trapped in a cage – the cage of withdrawal – and snarling at everyone who walks past as a warning signal that they’ve “been through some shit and won’t take it anymore.”
I’m saying, perhaps Vulnarcs are wounded creatures who haven’t learned to patch themselves up and engage healthily with living beings again. Therefore, they need to focus on the wounds (and possibly create some new ones) to explain their lifestyles, moods, and behaviors towards themselves and others.
To explain their failings, they create a negative origin story. This story then enables them to pull away from people who could show them the truth. SO their ego depends on everything being awful.
But, I think they’re somewhat aware of it.
As the paper said, they withdraw in order to mask their assessed fragility. VulNarcs feel lesser than the rest of the species, in a lot of ways, based on their past experiences. Some of them are probably real, amiright? And it’s this fear of weakness, perhaps derived from REAL negative events, that causes them to react defensively, manipulatively, and avoidantly.
Also… aggressively.
In order to be dicks, without enormous self-esteem, we must have justifiable reasons.
Fun sidenote. I think of the word “Justification” as a “fabrication of justice.”
And that’s exactly what we’re speaking to, here. Created “reasons” for bad behavior that aleve the perpetrator of responsibility.
In other words. If we maintain a continually negative view of the past – hey, look! – we have innumerable reasons to be miserable, cruel, and selfish.
This is also where I think the rumination that they mentioned enters the picture.
How do we really stoke our flames in order to behave badly? We ruminate on the past events that have made us angry. Events that wounded us, and inspired us to transform that pain into aggression.
If we think of lifetimes of bad experiences – especially socially – it empowers us to be shitheads in the present, doesn’t it? We feel “justified” with our fabrication of justice.
“We deserve it and must protect ourselves, plus… they deserve it for trying to hurt us, like everyone else.”
Then add in that OTHER piece they mentioned. The tendency to withdraw in order to fantasize about “showing them all.” The day that we’ll finally prove to EVERYONE how powerful we really are. This whole story of vengeance tendency is a long bout of rumination, provoking anger in order to have an emotion that feels “usable.”
And all of that… from the withdrawal to the low self esteem to the heightened recollection of parental trauma and the tendency of ruminated anger to elicit self-protective behaviors… is probably a lot of information for many of us to consider.
There were a lot of points in here that got my-self-gaslighting brain churning. “What if I’M JUST A COVERT NARCISSIST AND NONE OF THIS IS REAL.”
But on that note, let me give one positive comment from my reading, which may bring great relief to a number of you, as well….
They said: “Vulnerable narcissism and past negative time orientation were associated with four traits from the Big Five model: positively with neuroticism and negatively with extraversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness.”
And. On a personality test. Many of us are actually pretty extraverted, agreeable, and conscientious. If you’re in this community and haven’t immediately bounced out? You probably strike several of these notes. I don’t think this platform woos the unconscious and aggressive individuals for very long.
And I would also tell you, if we’re having the big worry “am I making up stories to support my ego, could I be wrong about all of this?” That’s a great indicator that we aren’t ALL VulNarc.
We may have some Vulnerably Narcissistic parts…. Sure.
But can we also say….
Shouldn’t we? WOULDN’T we?
After traumas, with low-esteem, is it any wonder that we’re driven to withdrawal, fall into rumination, construct stories of “getting back up to show our abusers we aren’t broken forever,” and then use that anger to motivate ourselves?
Perhaps that anger turns into aggression towards others. Maybe we ARE hostile – expecting negative things from them.
BUT. BUT. If that’s a passing phase and positive changes come out of it, such as taking action in life and establishing new boundaries with others, wouldn’t we call that “a step towards recovering”?
To pull all of this together.
If our time is used for tripping through thoughts of past negativity for a while, sucking up our energy as we process those painful events consciously and subconsciously, and requiring us to have large amounts of space in order to feel safe…
That’s a recovery process. Possibly a temporary lay over in VulNarcish tendencies, as the ego struggles to refind its legs.
But.
If our time is used for tripping through thoughts of past negativity indefinitely, sucking up our energy as we build taller and taller stories of painful events consciously and subconsciously, and requiring us to have large amounts of space in order to stay away from people who might point out our chosen fragility…
That is a process of becoming a Vulnerable Narcissist.
Some people get all the resources they need to better themselves. To come to terms with the past, process it, and step up towards their own autonomy, personal power, and intrinsic validation. To experience post traumatic growth from the traumas that probably, on some level, genuinely, are inside of them.
…. And instead, they use those gifts to double and triple down in their misery, which is born of their falsely interpreted stories, which support their wonky self-esteem, which justifies their violent behaviors towards others.
They WON’T grow. They will only foster anger and punish others for their past hurts, which are masked by that rage.
And doesn’t that explain a lot?
Time, space, and energy are the requirements for making lasting psychological change. But, unfortunately, that change isn’t always positively directed. Those three required factors are easily corrupted by negative time orientations, too little space from ones’ dark parts, and energy that’s being used to generate anger as motivation for unhealthy behavior.
Sigh.
‘Splains a lot over here.
Take your time, space, and energy. But be sure you’re using those blessings the right way. Or, face the fate of the VulNarc.
A miserable little chihuahua, determined to yap loud enough to intimidate the world as punishment for all the real and exaggerated pains they’ve been dealt.
Yap yap, bitch.
And with that…
Cheers, y’all.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this dive back into research. I thoroughly have.
And til next time:
Hail yourself.
Hail your self concept; don’t let it act as the lynchpin between your miserable past, your miserable present, and your abuse onto others.
Hail Marcus Barks and King Archie.
And cheers, y’all. Happy new year.