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Filial caregiving comes for almost all of us; in traumatized families those feelings of ambivalence are hard to overcome. Making the decision to engage comes with the threat of anxiety, depression, feelings of entrapment, and hopelessness. Avoiding the situation brings guilt, shame, and often social scorn. So what’s a bean to do? And how can we stay safe?
Covert (vulnerable) or Overt Narcs (grandiose)? Doesn’t matter. They leave a mark. While we are here to support each other through current and previous narbuse, we’re not here to villainize or victim-bond. We’re here to protect ourselves and recover our esteem while defending against development of extreme views in future relationships. But, also, the words “preposterous lifesucking nightmare” are not off limits. We hear you.