Private Groups

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Filial caregiving comes for almost all of us; in traumatized families those feelings of ambivalence are hard to overcome. Making the decision to engage comes with the threat of anxiety, depression, feelings of entrapment, and hopelessness. Avoiding the situation brings guilt, shame, and often social scorn. So what’s a bean to do? And how can we stay safe?

Covert (vulnerable) or Overt Narcs (grandiose)? Doesn’t matter. They leave a mark. While we are here to support each other through current and previous narbuse, we’re not here to villainize or victim-bond. We’re here to protect ourselves and recover our esteem while defending against development of extreme views in future relationships. But, also, the words “preposterous lifesucking nightmare” are not off limits. We hear you.

Most of us have significant romantic aspirations… but how DO we connect in this socially-traumatized, actively-apocalyptic world? Dating apps are horrible. Real life interactions are fleetingly tenuous. “Healing In Progress” humans are difficult to find. Let’s laugh and commiserate together as we work on healthy relating and share our ventures with the human species.

What’s wrong today and why? We never know! But we try to figure it out, together, while re-establishing healthy trust with our meat suits. Talkin bout: getting re-present in the body; somatic healing; body trauma; childhood roots; research without death predictions; navigating the medical system, what we’ve collectively figured out that western medicine hasn’t.

We love verifiable ‘reality’ and the process of science. [But] When the conscious outlook is dark, dank, and rapidly declining into a robo-media fascist regime as the world burns… well… It helps to support the spirit. [*With gray tones.*] We talk about leveraging spiritual health and all manner of woo for practical healing and life guidance in a dystopian wasteland. [With a scientific, psychological, cynical, bypassless, and experimentally-informed lens.]
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When all we’ve ever known about family has been ‘fücked,’ how do we protect against learned patterns and give our children better foundations? Talking about reactivity, distress intolerance, relational reparations, establishing sense of safety, bolstering sense of self, noting self-limitations, creating healthy boundaries, and talking about trauma without creating trauma.
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At a certain point it’s not “unwise” to be wary of other beans. Yet, withdrawal and self-protective behaviors will deteriorate health and quality of life. So what’s a Fucker to do? Let’s talk about balancing our human suspicions with socializing safely, and work on “healthy relating” together.
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Coming to the conclusion that “I really fucked that person up” is never easy. Living with fear of self, guilt, relational avoidance, and self-hate tends to follow. We come together recognizing that we suck in relationships; working on self-forgiveness, acceptance, awareness; making amends; redeveloping relationships and response patterns.

Life gets confusing when you have a self, a Self, and all the fragmented identities in between. We discuss the “small s self,” the “higher Self,” and the many “parts” of our personalities… plus, the ways to help them get along. The end goal is self-clarification and relief of internal tension as we move towards ‘self and Self’ authentic lives.
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Strong work ethic is the mark of a good person, right? … But is it? And when achievement becomes obsessive, is that a sign of something else? Working against overdrive patterning; trauma and achievement; confronting emotions rather than escaping through activity; dealing with perfectionism, control, and hypervigilance; self-forgiveness; finding nervous system balance and room to breathe.
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